The Steps to Conformity

sweet-ice-cream-photography-714741-unsplash.jpg

Don’t do this
Instead, do that
Don’t act this way
So they don’t stare
So they don’t care
So they don’t notice you
Because if they do, then you’re a failure

Hide the features
That make you human
Your bruised eyes and blemishes
Your marks and mistakes
And your rough edges
Because they’re a sign of weakness
They’re a sign of social disregard

Program your brain to act my way
So you can become numb to your desires
So you can start to hate yourself
Your imperfect self
Your incorrect self
Your disgusting and struggling self

Wear a mask as you travel through life
And don’t forget the lines to your act
Walk that precarious tightrope
Of social conventions and standards and rules
But don’t look down
And don’t look left
And don’t look right
And take your glasses off, for now
Because it’s better to be blind
To hide that pain within your heart
Because the one thing we can’t change
Is the rhythm of your heartbeat
Unfortunately, you’ll have to stay human,
For now

I know, there’s still that ideal world in your mind
With originality and creativity
With happiness and self-expression
It’s the whispers of freedom
Try your best to kill that beast
That parasite, feeding on your soul
Conform to the outside currents of the world
Adhere to our starved reality
It’s just easier that way
Trust me, I know  

Because I love you,
But only the potential you, not the real you

I love you,
But I also hate you

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 Photo by Sweet Ice Cream Photography on Unsplash

32 thoughts on “The Steps to Conformity

      1. I have been recently introduced to this strange concept of “faking love” and I am struggling to make sense of it. I thought love was the only thing in this world that can’t be faked, but boy o’ boy! how wrong I was… Have you written things related? If so, pls. point me towards them. I’m starting to believe that before loving someone truly, we should be all aware of what is fake love?

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      2. I agree, fake love is a pretty strange concept. How can something that seems so real also seem so fake? This is the third poem I’ve published on this blog, so I don’t have anything else specifically on this topic. But all of my poem relate to something fake or illusive: fake society, fake expectations etc. They’re called: “The Unknown” and “Her Dark Eyes” They’re both pretty recent, so you can easily find them if you scroll through my home page.

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  1. It’s the imperfections about people that I like. Everything would be so boring and stale if everyone was ‘perfect’… Life would be meaningless, society a decadent utopia of clones that would inevitably self destruct.

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    1. Yes, I totally agree with you. Often times, we are rejected when we try to stand out, so we tell ourselves that being different is incorrect, so we assimilate to the standard. This poem is about the inner conflict I’m having- conform and be complacent, or be yourself and suffer the consequences of possible rejection. But it was always the different people in life that ever made a difference. If we are all the same, we will never progress forward, an eventually just die out.

      There’s a saying that variety is the spice of life, and I think it works perfectly here.

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      1. Well, I guess that depends on who you want to be and what you want to do with your life. For artists, conformity is anathema, but the same doesn’t hold true for the guy who wants to climb the corporate ladder.
        Then there are the Amish… I respect them for sticking to their beliefs, but I can’t imagine living today without electricity.

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      2. I think it works the other way: we fall into professions based on the degree of our conformity. The non conforming artists feed off of the non conformity of others, while the corporate folks feed off the conformity of others. It’s funny how you bring up the Amish. When I was little I really wanted to be Amish, I even visited them twice. So you can imagine how upset I was when I found out that one can only be Amish by birth. 😀

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      3. Good point! Now that I think about it, I do agree with you. One’s inclination toward conformity is based both on how they were raised and the values instilled in them, and it is also based on the environment and culture they grew up in. That makes a lot of sense. But I do sort of think that it isn’t just outside factors that shape you as a person, I think there is also something from the inside that ultimately dictates one’s life.

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  2. Oh, if only I’d had this poem in my teen years. I raged against the machine, politely of course, but I lacked the words. I only knew that my soul wasn’t meant for conformity. I wanted to be like Calvin and Hobbes.

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    1. Thank you!
      I read on your about page that you wrote poems using only curse words when you were a teen, seems to get the point across just as well, in my opinion.
      I guess I kind of feel the same way, now. I’ve never felt like I fit in anywhere, probably because I’ve been struggling against the tides of society for most of my life. As I get older it just seems so frightfully easy to just give in, but I’ll keep on fighting.
      And I agree, it would be pretty cool the be Calvin and Hobbes.

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      1. Yes, keep up the good fight. You know all of us that don’t fit in with the tides of society fit in rather well with each other. From now on, let’s put the fork on the left when we set the table as a sign of solidarity. 🙂

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      2. Wow Kat! Then you are already advanced in well ordered non-conformity. I’m jealous. I’m only at the stage where I don’t remember what the rule is so I wing it. Sometimes I discover that I conformed when I didnt intend to. It’s a process that takes time. I have managed to get myself labeled eccentric which I’m resonably proud of. 😁

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      3. LoL, 😆. I wear my eccentricity with pride. It keeps the riff raff away. I give them my soul reader stare and they back up right away. After that I can go about my business in my usual eccentric ways and life is good.

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  3. Awesome poem! I’ve just came across a Japanese saying about conformity and how it has to be achieved in society by comparing it to nails driven into wood and the one nail that stands out has to be hammered more. Quite scary when you put it like this I think but exactly what can be observed worldwide.

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    1. That’s such a great analogy and it makes so much sense. It really makes me wonder about all those times when I was forced to conform when I didn’t want to: when I stuck out to much, but was still eventually hammered down anyways. Yes, I do think it’s kind of scary as well. Thank you so much for reading and sharing that saying, I think I’ll be thinking about it a lot from now on. 🤔

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  4. You’re very welcome! I also had more contact with that hammer of conformity than I cared for. 😉 People just can’t stand individuals who are running against the current it seems. It takes a lot of will power to stay on course!

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