Consumerism is Weird: A Poem

Imagine a fish eating a cucumber:

A monotony of an existence

It probably won’t even understand

Or be able to appreciate

That five percent that isn’t water:

Its brain is too small to know what life is.

Imagine spending your whole life

Suspended within a cage of glass

And not having the mental capacity to be bored.

That plastic seaweed you spent fifteen hard-earned dollars on

Isn’t going to make your goldfish’s life any better

And dangling a slice of cucumber

              (Boiled cucumber)

              (That you could have put in your sandwich)

On a string in the tank

Won’t make the fish like you

You will only impress yourself.

              Grow up and get a cat.

My mother keeps a sweater in her car during the summer

To wear to supermarkets.

But at least the tomatoes are nice and cold

When we put them into our fridge.

God forbid

We ever have to eat warm vegetables

Or wait five minutes for the ice cream to re-freeze

That deli I go to sometimes

Has both roasted and regular red peppers

As salad topping options.

I wonder how many people get confused,

We’re all so particular in our ways.

I certainly prefer

The electrons in my peppers

To not have recently vibrated at enormously large speeds;

Thank you very much.

20 thoughts on “Consumerism is Weird: A Poem

  1. Grow up and get a cat made me snort laugh 😆. Then there was the vibrated electrons. I am a big fan of other people eating irradiated food or GMO’s. I want to see what happens to them. Maybe it cures acne. Maybe it causes the long term user to also seek high speed vibration during their own GMO process. A great poem with some clever wit.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. By vibrating electrons, I meant to refer to food that had recently been cooked (such as the roasted red peppers as opposed to the fresh ones) Since that really is the only difference between those two types of peppers, it was meant to highlight how absurdly picky we are about everything.

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      1. I enjoy the depth of your meaning. I don’t intentionally hijack your words for my own eccentric thoughts but irradiated food is what popped in my mind first, then microwave food. I remember when microwave ranges first came out no one trusted them because they used magic to make your food hot. Now vibrating water molecules in our food is the first step in any quick meal. Your poem is still great in spute of my wayward thoughts. 🙊

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      2. That makes sense. Microwaves are pretty suspicious, but they do reveal a lot about humanity: we always complain that we never have enough time, yet when we get a solution that significantly speeds up the process of heating up food, we complain about radiation. I actually like that you interpreted my words differently than I intended. That’s the beauty of writing, I think: to let words guide one’s thoughts.

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      3. While I always want to get inside the artist’s thoughts and views to understand their creative message and to understand them as a person, my very active head elves can create an epic story from a flower, and a civilization out of a meadow. It’s an affliction that entertains me to no end.

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      4. I was born with an active imagination and I spent my entire childhood mastering the art of staring out the window lost in a fantasy. I didn’t have toys but I had lots of outdoors to run around in, a gazillion trees to climb. I wanted to be Tarzan when I grew up. 😂 Well, that didn’t quite work out for me.

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      5. I also spent a lot of time looking out the window when I was a kid. Though I grew up in the city and didn’t have many trees to climb on, we had a little backyard that my siblings and I spent a lot of time in, imagining a plethora of different games to play. Those are some of my best childhood memories.

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