Purposes and Reasons

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What’s the purpose?
Of a beautiful sunny day,
Of the golden shine of autumn leaves,
Of the calming hush of  ocean waves

When I sit in the sports stadium
And feel the rush of the cheering crowd
Is it more than just a room stuffed with particles?
Is this energy greater than the sum of its parts?

Is the world more than a collaboration of atoms,
Going down a predestined path?
Or are they controlled by a force up above

What is the reason?
For this earth to keep on spinning
For the sun to keep on shining
For the universe to keep on expanding
For the humans to keep on living

Questions without an answer
Tear my mind to pieces
But what is my mind anyway,
But a series of electrical impulses
And chemical reactions in my brain?

An existential crisis
Consumes every piece of my being
But how can I be sure that my body exists?
When the physical world is just the brain’s best guess

Yet I must comply to the physical world
A word of false meaning and materialism
Not to drown in my questions
Keep following the rules and singing the same happy song
Not to lose myself in my dangerous thoughts

Only adhering to our conventional reality
Would I be able to escape it

That’s my reason
That’s my purpose

What if these questions have no answers?
But more terrifying:
What if they do? 

10 thoughts on “Purposes and Reasons

  1. You are an excellent poet as well Kat. All those rules are daytime guides to help you through the maze but the night belongs to you and your dreamscape is where the magic happens. All the answers will come to you in the most unlikely places and times. Try this for fun. Say to yourself as you prepare for sleep and when you wake up, I want my purpose to be . . . (fill in the blank). Then, the next day assign one meaning to something important to you. Pin that meaning on it and later you can change your mind or expand on it. These affirmations give you a baseline starting point and that is always more acceptable than not having an answer. It can be funny like in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy the answer was always the number 42. That let everyone move on to the next challenge.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That sounds very interesting; I’ll try it out. For me the hard part is finding an object to assign meaning to. I feel as if my life is all over the place, so focusing on one thing may make me go crazy. For example, every morning I make a list of 4 or 5 things I need to get done today, and, although I barely ever finish everything on that list, I can’t imagine just focusing on one thing, but I will give it my very best try.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Just remember each day you have to chose a different thing to give meaning to. In a short time, you will have a huge list of meaningful things. It will be a wonderfully complex list which you can further aggravate your sanity by trying to remember everything on the list. Maybe for fun, you could kick it off by making your to do list your first meaningful thing. I know it sounds crazy, but it really works. 😁

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve tried meditation before, and it made me realize that I think too much. I just can’t seem to let my brain relax. I’m trying to take the world less literally, but still thoughtfully: maybe a combination of my head and my heart.

      And, thank you. Very glad you liked this poem!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. One misconception that held me back before I learned some more… you don’t have to “not think.” You can just zone out in a quiet place for a while. And if you can just get a second or two of silence at a time, that’s all you need. Staying silent for ten minutes or whatever is impossible.

        Liked by 1 person

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